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Reintroducing W.R.E.a.T.

Wed, 08 May 2024 19:31:37 GMT

Improving my website, returning to blogging, and opening to new clients

I've been on a bit of a blogging hiatus since the fall. I got busy with clients and a contract gig, and I had a lot of personal stuff going on as well, from raising a baby and a toddler to losing a member of the household. It has been a lot and it's been both beautiful and completely exhausting!

My business has bloomed beautifully over the last year, and I've thoroughly enjoyed editing in a variety of genres including romance, women's literature, historical fiction, thriller, and spicy urban fantasy. I have learned an incredible amount about the modern book and writing industry, and I am ready to get back into blogging and share what I have learned with my growing network of writers and readers.

Here is what I have planned for Better Than an Editor LLC in the coming months:

1) A new and improved website is up and running! I have clarified my services and rates, updated my testimonials, and personalized my biography. I also intend on adding more pages that will help my clients get to know me better, including lists of my favorite books and more samples of my own writing.

2) My business officially has an artist designed logo, created by Karma Rhodes . It's on my business card bookmarks, my website, Instagram and email. Please check out her work...and let me know if you want some bookmarks! I am in love with my logo and am excited to share it with the world.

3) Blog posts about the modern book industry , including what I've learned about indie and traditional book publishing, ARC reading, and street teams. I will also share some pitfalls I've seen and things you should absolutely be doing if you want your book to be successful, whatever route you choose.

4) On Saturday, May 18th, I will have my own booth at a local festival . I am incredibly excited to participate; I will be setting up a free library, sharing my bookmark business cards, and hopefully meeting some clients face-to-face. I will report back about this experience.

5) I am OPEN to new clients again! I am all caught up on my current projects, and my contract work is waning. I'm still tired a lot of the time...but this work is so good for my mind and my spirit. I am looking forward to connecting with new clients, completing samples, and hopefully diving into whole new imaginative worlds and writing styles.

Stay tuned for more!

Read & Review: From Pilot to Princess

Mon, 04 Sep 2023 16:01:00 GMT

Another Must-Read Maude Winters Series

Between new baby (who is already three months old!) and trying to fit in paid contract work, I have been slacking on both reading and writing. Life comes in waves that way. I started this blog post with a sleeping baby in my lap, and it will probably take a few stops and starts to get it finished. It is really hard trying to "do it all"; I will have to write more about that later.

For now, I'm focused on completing a book review I have been wanting to write for about a month. I started Maude Winters' Spare Change series, the follow-up to Regency and Rivalry . And y'all...I loved it!

I enjoyed Regency and Rivalry and highly recommend starting with that series, as Spare Change includes many of the same characters, primarily the next generation of royals. It isn't completely necessary to read the first series first, but I found I was invested in the characters from the beginning, and it was cool to see how the young couple in London Season grew into parents of adult children in From Pilot to Princess .

This book is for the next generation in so many great ways, which is why I love it. It is progressive and deals with some tough issues, including a male heir who leaves the "family business" due to his sexual orientation, a strong female lead who pushes against stereotypes, and class divisions between a new character and the royals.

I adore Natalie, and the fella she falls for: who is soft and hard (heh) in all the right places. I really could not get enough of them! I appreciate that Winters brought in Lucy - an American from a working-class background - and integrated her into the royal family. Her own budding romance will be featured in the next book, and I look forward to more class diversity and seeing how Winters and her royal characters navigate class differences.

Winters does a nice job slowly building her world and distinguishing it from our own, without spending a ton of time doing it. The heroine here - initially the "spare" - flies fighter jets and even fought in a war. When her brother steps down and she must take his place, she has to shift gears entirely. While most of us will never know what it feels like to be a princess, we all know what it is like to have to suddenly change our life course...or at the very least we all know that life does not always go according to plan. Much of this book is all about that: quite suddenly everything you expected to happen is completely different now. Your world is on its head.

The characters are all likeable in their own way, despite their conflict with each other. This is one of the things I believe Winters does best (it was prevalent in her first series as well). No one is perfect, and these characters are all likeably flawed. They fight and bicker, but somehow you can easily see and understand where each of them is coming from. This is one of Winters' great talents.

I was so pleased with From Pilot to Princess that a s soon as Maude put the next book up for purchase - Duchess Material - I snagged one (I got signed hardcopies this time...nothing beats a signed hardcopy!). She will for sure be coming with us on our mini-vacation this week!

I am finishing this blog post with a toddler on my head, blowing raspberries on my cheeks. Until next time...happy reading and happy writing!

Read & Review: How Much Love Can a Heart Hold? by Angela Panayotopulos

Mon, 24 Jul 2023 20:14:36 GMT

A Beautifully Illustrated Children’s Book that Tugs at Mama’s Heartstrings

At the end of May, I had my second son. My first was just over two and half. He was so excited to have a baby brother, but of course he did not fully understand what that meant. I didn’t really either; having one child has its own challenges, but I did not understand how it could work with two. For months I fretted over integrating a new life into the family. My two-year-old has always been pretty attached to me. I stay home with him and we co-sleep. How could I integrate a new and naturally needy little life into that?

This book, How Much Love Can a Heart Hold? by Angela Panayotopulos, is just as much for parents of new little ones as it is for children. It helped remind me, in a sweet and simple way, of how much our love can grow, and how much my love has grown. It acknowledges the tricky bits – there are challenges, like when my toddler bit my baby’s toe – but there are also such sweet moments of kisses and cuddles. There are “new routines, out of the blue” which I am sure my toddler can really relate to, even if he cannot articulate it himself. That is what makes books so important for children: it helps them recognize, understand, and process their own emotions in ways they may not be able to otherwise. Books also help build empathy, and that is definitely something new siblings need!

There are parts to this book that already make me feel nostalgic, triggering not so distant memories: “Our hearts work like clockwork since we are born, just a few seconds old,” brings me back to my second baby being born and placed on my chest, and how I knew right then that he was when and where he was meant to be (and so was I!).

I read all sorts of books with my toddler before the baby was born trying to “prepare” him for what was to come (I am a researcher at heart, and approach almost all of life’s challenges with a “to the books!” mentality). I am happily adding this one to our collection. I do not think he will have any trouble understanding it, and the art is gorgeous; he will love discussing the animals and their families.

I love that this book inspires the connection of siblings. It is hard for my toddler right now, who so desperately wants to play in ways baby brother isn’t ready for – the rough and tumble kind of play. Sometimes big brother needs a reminder that baby brother is still growing, but they will be playing together soon.

He also needs this reminder: “No matter how big our family gets, you’ll always be loved as deeply by me.” I never want him to forget that. Learning to share mama with a new baby is definitely hard sometimes!

I found this to be a really lovely read and a beautiful book to have displayed on my children’s bookshelf. It is great for families welcoming a second child, and short and sweet enough for most children of various ages to appreciate.

On Finding the Time to Write

Fri, 30 Jun 2023 13:57:49 GMT

Realistic Tips for the Modern Human

If you are like me, you have read all sorts of writing advice that says you need to write every day, in solid, scheduled chunks. One of the most popular books about writing, Stephen King's On Writing , emphasizes this, as do most writing blogs, courses, etc. On Writing is one of the most popular and frequently mentioned books on the craft of writing, and to its credit, it is an easy, quick read written by one of the most popular American authors of all time.

But the last time I read it, I found myself sighing in frustration. King mentions a time in his life when he was working full time, but never acknowledges - as far as I can remember - how the average, modern person should manage to fit in solid, daily writing time.

One of the other most common pieces of advice aspiring writers receive says you need to be reading frequently, consuming as much of the written word as possible. I agree with this. Successful writers need be voracious readers. But setting aside time every day to read and write and do all the other things a modern human has to do...well, if you truly believe you have to write and read every single day to be successful, then it is easy to get discouraged.

I want to challenge the idea that to be successful you have to write every day for hours. Okay, so I know I cannot yet be considered a "successful" writer, depending on how you define success (I am unpublished). And of course, the more time you dedicate to writing the faster those projects are going to get finished. I will acknowledge that now. There are certainly advantages to daily writing.

But let's be realistic. Most of us have a lot of responsibilities and not a ton of free time. Sometimes even if we have a little time, we just don't have the brain power to do any solid writing. When I had a full-time job and a long commute I found more time to write than I do now with kids and family. Even then it wasn't easy. It was hard to sit on a computer all day and then come home to more computer time to write.

It will take me a few days just to write this blog. I have a fussy baby in my lap and also have to monitor a sometimes unruly two-year-old (I mean...he's two, you know?). I live in a house full of people. There are endless chores to do, and I'm trying to manage my own business. The thought of fitting in a few minutes of writing time each day often seems unrealistic to me, much less a few hours. I do need to sleep sometimes...

Usually if I find the time to read, I have to sacrifice writing time and vice versa. It is really challenging, and I want to acknowledge this difficulty for those of us who want so desperately to write but find that common writing advice so, so hard to follow. Do not feel like a failure because you cannot fit in time to write every day. Writing should be a passion or a fun hobby, not a guilt-inducing slog.

I have never found the time to write every single day. And guess what? I still finished my book. It took seven years, but it's my first completed project that I feel good about sharing with the world, and I'm crazy happy about it. My business is growing - slowly, yes, but growing. Writing Book 2 of my trilogy is going faster and smoother: when I sit down to write I know what I'm doing and where it's going.

Yet I have even less time to write, and I go weeks without touching it. Yup, WEEKS. Sometimes months, if I am being honest. But I did finish writing a novel and that feels like an incredible accomplishment. I feel like a success already, and I know it is only going to get better.

So here are my tips for the modern human who wants to finish that writing project but just cannot find the time:

1) Daydream . This is how I wrote most of my first book...years before I ever put a word on the page. I thought about it...A LOT. I wrote and rewrote whole scenes in my head over and over again. Sometimes I have whole sentences or paragraphs written and memorized in my head before I write them down. Do not underestimate the advantage of this: think about your story while stuck in a traffic jam, washing dishes, folding clothes, showering. Then when you do get a minute to sit down and write, you will not have to waste time longing for a muse and watching a blinking cursor. You will already know exactly what needs to go on the page.

2) Scribble . When I was working, sentences or ideas would come to me, and I would take a minute to write them down in a notebook I kept nearby. My 15 minute breaks were often spent writing down scene outlines. I still have a stack of notebooks with these scattered scenes. I would take my notes home and transfer them to a digital document when I got a chance. This is another great way to avoid wasting writing time, while also serving as a kind of first, rough draft of a scene. When I went to write those scenes in a Word document, I would be able to perfect them further, effectively creating a second draft. Keep a notebook with you at all times. You won't regret it!

3) Schedule a weekly time and place . Instead of trying to force myself to squeeze in time every day to write and battling with assorted other responsibilities, I have around two hours scheduled every Wednesday in my favorite coffee shop where I go to work. Having a set time and dedicated location really helps, not only in terms of finding the time to write but also just for my mental health. I recommend this for modern mothers in particular, as we so rarely have time to ourselves to really focus. Set that time and place. Use your network to help you carve out a few hours to yourself each week to work on your favorite hobby, with a nice cup of coffee or tea.

4) Don't rush . I think this is why we often set ourselves up for disappointment: we want to hurry up and get a project FINISHED. But writing, like most art, takes time, and I would argue it takes quality time even more than a quantity of time. If you spend half your writing time beating your head against the desk, it really is not doing you much good. Take your time. Daydream. Scribble. Writing is not a get rich quick scheme. Write because you love it and value your story, and take your time doing it. Enjoy that time instead of rushing through it.

5) If you can't write? Read, listen, and consume stories . Sometimes you just do not have the bandwidth to write. That is a good time to read. I recommend reading in your genre if you are close to seeking publication, but any reading is good for the writer's brain. And if you cannot read? Listen. Audiobooks count. Really need to zone out? You know what...movies and TV shows tell stories too. Buffy the Vampire Slayer (and the Angel spin off) is one of my biggest influences, and I am sure I get some of my character building and dialogue strengths from the number of times I have watched that show. I believe that consuming stories of any type will help your own storytelling and world building.

6) Make writer friends . This occurred to me as I was finishing this post, but I think it is worth mentioning. Writer friends can serve as a great source of inspiration. They are also people you can share your work with, often offering a safe space for getting your writing in the hands of someone else. It has helped me stay motivated. And when I'm floundering? I'll shoot an email to one of those friends: how did you manage the query process?! I'll ask. Or I will touch base about how their own editing process is going, and we can commiserate.

I hope this helps some of you create new habits that will get your story across the finish line. I also want you to know you are not alone if you get frustrated by the most common pieces of writing advice out there. Writing every day may be ideal, but it often is not realistic. That does not mean you cannot be a writer. It does not mean you will never finish that project.

You can. You will.

PS It took me four days to write this post!

Read & Review: Kelsang Pawo's A Perfect Harvest

Tue, 30 May 2023 14:31:52 GMT

A Reflective Autobiography Everyone Should Read

I recently wrote a post about how fickle I am when it comes to nonfiction. I mentioned that I have a particularly hard time reading and finishing biographies, usually hitting a point where I just don't care anymore, and I put the book down and never come back to it. However, I recently discovered Kelsang Pawo's A Perfect Harvest: An East End Boy's Journey from Post War London to Bhutan . What a pleasure it was to read!

Pawo's book is not like your typical autobiography. Grab a cup of coffee (he himself clearly loves a good cup) and sit down with his book. It is a quick and easy read, while also being profound and thought-provoking. As you read you will feel you are sitting with him, and he is simply conversing with you about his life as topics come up: about that time he got arrested in Africa or almost got eaten by sharks or spent quality time with Goldie Hawn.

It is not clearly linear; it does not follow an obvious time table like many biographies. You won't know how long Pawo was a sailor, or when/how his parents died, or how long he spent back in London after his first trip to the Himalayas. Pawo does not live his life by a watch or time table (clearly, as he misses his ship once...he was too busy exploring!). So do not expect that from him. I find this is part of what makes his work so incredibly readable though. You do not get bogged down in relatively unnecessary details. You get the big picture, the great stories, and the lessons from a life well lived.

Pawo is such a likable and relatable person from the start. I so appreciate how he gives voice to the thoughts that have struck him throughout his life, including those negative thoughts that pop into all of our minds, even if we never voice them. We have all had the experience of terrible thoughts popping into our head followed by the profound feeling of guilt that occurs afterwards. Pawo puzzles over this: where do such thoughts come from, despite having such an open mind? His observations of life and living are simple and wise. A few golden snippets as examples:

"Later in life, I was to realise that confidence in oneself is a good thing, but it is healthy if that confidence is tempered with a good dose of humility. A bit of give and take. I am sure that I displayed too much impatience and a lack of understanding of the ways and habits of others."

"We all had to get on with change and simply see the good side that is inevitably secreted in every moving moment, just as everybody in the world must learn to do the same."

"I was to realise later, when in the East, that a truly peaceful mind reigned despite outer conditions and not due to them. Peace is an inner thing. It is the fruit that appears from the virtuous practise of wisdom and compassion."

These are the kinds of things I want from an autobiography: what has a person learned throughout their life? There is so much value in that, and Pawo does not hesitate to offer up his learnings. He discovers his own faults and deals with those, from obsessive counting to the western way of impatience.

I also have to commend Pawo for his descriptive prowess. With the simplest of words Pawo can paint an incredibly vivid picture. I can see so clearly, from his descriptions: how a school of fish looked as the sun hit their scales, what it was like meeting the eye of a whale (I had a similar experience meeting the eyes of a cow in Dhaka, so I personally valued his descriptions here), the aura of the Khempo sitting on a rock, the unrivaled beauty of the Himalayas and their people.

Oh and the people! Not only can Pawo provide simple yet vivid visual descriptions, his way of describing and explaining people makes just about everyone relatable. Even when he expresses his own dislike for someone (those thieving Liverpoolians on that first ship, for example), his own negative experience sits within a great deal of empathy. He truly understands people, even when they infuriate or puzzle him. He illustrates their character - the truths of their personhood - so beautifully. He expresses what he learned from every person who he ran across in life, from those who hurt him to those who loved him to those who simply bumped into him for a few hours. This is an incredibly useful perspective I wish we all had. How beneficial would it be to be able to see with such clarity how significant each person in your life is and all the things you can learn from them?

You will not finish Pawo's book knowing everything about his life. In fact, you will probably have questions you'd like to ask him about his family, how he made his living throughout his life, what he had to go through to become a Buddhist monk, what he is doing now, etc. I found the unanswered questions and the lost details to be beside the point. It isn't necessary to know these things. Pawo offers up his journey as he sees it in a conversational, readable tone, that simply makes you want to spend more time with him.

Pawo himself writes, "Books are so very important, are they not? They have the power to guide and motivate. Maybe not the whole book will do this, but just a phrase or a few words within each of them that resonate and inspire."

A Perfect Harvest does this with ease and beautiful simplicity. Read it. You won't regret it.

Think: A Pep Talk for Writers

Thu, 18 May 2023 13:57:30 GMT

Don't Let the Challenge Defeat You

I have been lucky enough to work with an assortment of fledging authors lately. Some are just starting their story and deciding which direction it should go. Others are finishing up final edits and beginning the arduous query process. One is self publishing at a remarkable pace. Another is deep in the query process, sorting through a pile of rejection letters.

Most of the authors I have worked with have, at some point in the process, hit a wall. For some it happens at the end of their novel, when they realize they do not even know where the story is going. For some it is during the editing process (I will put myself in this category), when the slog of trying to perfect the story becomes just too much. For most, however, if they've managed to cross the finish line of a complete story, the wall comes up during the query process. Perhaps they are not getting any responses from agents (which is common for many months) or the responses they are getting are rejections.

Writing a book takes a lot of work upfront and behind the scenes, and sometimes it doesn't feel worth it. Most authors write because they want to be read; they have a story they want to tell, and they want other people to read and enjoy it. When they work for months or even years to put that story on paper, and then they find it falls flat, it can be extraordinarily discouraging.

In my opinion, it is this moment that makes the author. It is both easy and heartrending to give up (Stephen King did this with Carrie ...his wife pulled that one out of the wastebasket ) . To be a successful artist of any type it takes quite a bit of tenacity - perhaps more tenacity than any other aspiration.

So these are a few things I tell my author friends and clients, when I see the writer doubt creep in.

1) Here is what is working. Sometimes a story does need some work. But there is almost always something that is also working and working well. Every author needs to know what this is . Beta reading or editing isn't just about pointing out the problems; it is also important to let a writer know what they are doing well and why. This can mean everything to a fledgling author. Sometimes they only need to hear one thing: YES, you have a story here that people will want to read. Keep going!

2) It doesn't matter if it has been done before. Sure, there is always the concern that the work lacks freshness, and of course you want to avoid anything resembling plagiarism. But you know what? It has pretty much all been done before. Does that mean people will not read it? Come on! How many versions of Spiderman have been successful? How many princes have rescued princesses? People love stories and often they love predictable stories, so do not let that deter you. Many readers love the same stories over and over again (my toddler will have me read the same book 3 or 4 times in a row). Hallmark movies follow a very specific formula, and the public cannot get enough of them. Furthermore, even if you are writing a seemingly traditional "the prince rescues the princess" story, no one has written in your voice before. No one has written from your place in life, with your past, your thoughts, your aspirations. Your voice is special. Never forget that.

3) Write the book you would want to read. I may have mentioned this here before. It is one of the most valuable bits of advice I have ever received when it comes to writing. Do not write for anyone but yourself. Write the book you want to read but have yet to find on the shelf. This is gold. Trust me.

4) Any feedback is good feedback. Maybe you are getting responses from your queries, but they are not exactly what you want to hear. But you know what? Someone read it. Someone took the time to respond to it. That is something. They could have just tossed it and ignored you. That is worse. Maybe their comments are something to take to heart and maybe they aren't. I had an adult author whose first major critique asked "Have you thought about writing children's books instead?" That was not something to take to heart. Discovering that you need a stronger beginning...that's something to think about.

5) Consider why you are writing in the first place. If you are frustrated that your writing isn't soaring to the top of the charts and landing you talk show spots, it may be time to reevaluate wh at initially motivated you to write. The vast majority of writers do not become rich and famous. In short: you are probably barking up the wrong tree. I'm not saying you can't become a successful author...I am saying that should not be your primary motivation for writing. Write because you are moved to write. Write because you have a story to tell. Write because it makes you feel good. But if you are writing with the primary intention of fame and fortune, you are probably going to being disappointed. Most of us are not Peter Hamilton (who began writing and became successful during a period of unemployment).

Should you try? YES. You should try and keep trying. But always consider your motivations. Consider what drives you. Do it because you love it. That is the only way your writing will ever work. Writing is an art - plain and simple - and art takes passion over a desire for popularity and wealth.

Also, do not forget to let other people read it! I am here if you need another pair of eyes...and I will always tell you upfront what is working and what isn't. The best way to improve is to let readers see what you have been writing, and I absolutely love reading new projects.

Most importantly...keep writing. It is the only way to get better.

Read & Review: The Queen's Conundrum by Maude Winters

Tue, 25 Apr 2023 12:49:40 GMT

Book 2 of the Regency & Rivalry Series

One of my favorite things about reading a book series is being able to maintain a relationship with characters you came to know and love. The Queen's Conundrum is a pleasing continuation of Maude Winters' Regency and Rivalry series. It adds depth to the characters, making them ever more human and relatable.

The Queen and family cope with cancer. Vanora and Robbie consider marriage. Prince Duncan falls in love with nurse and young mother Rebecca Mayhew...and the reader falls in love with her too. Winters adds drama just when the characters and the reader begin to get too comfortable (just like life, huh? Don't get too comfy...). There is a disastrous and unexpected fire. The paparazzi are released. Characters make life changing decisions about staying together. Winters does a good job making the characters human (flawed, in other words) while also showing how important it is for them to rely on each other.

Winters also addresses some big topics relevant to ongoing political dialogue (in a British context, of course), including racism and the sacrifices women often make for their families. The sacrifices of women in fact is probably a major underlying theme of the whole book and perhaps the series as a whole.

I have to share a few of my favorite quotes this time around. First, as an example of the book's relatability, as I, like Rita, am a heavily pregnant woman:

'Who exactly are we waiting for?' Rita asked, grumbling. 'I’m hungry. Oh god, I need to piss again.'

Me too, Rita. Me too. *Grumble grumble*

Here is an example of the romance/swoon factor:

Robbie loved the way she smelled. The way she looked at him when she was doubtful that he was right about something but was trying to avoid saying 'I told you so'. He loved the way she lay in bed in the mornings and how tightly she held onto him when she was having a dreadful sort of day. He loved the sound of her voice and how she laughed. He loved everything about her. She would never know. Robbie had tried to express this before in words, but it never came across—clearly.

And finally, a statement regarding the work and sacrifices women make, perhaps my favorite quote in the whole book (explicit language warning!):

Don’t be a fucking martyr. Don’t do it. Women do that. And it doesn’t make the world a happier or better place.

The next book, A House Divided , will be released on May 1 and the fourth book will come out this summer. This series is the perfect, relaxing comfort read for the summer. I look forward to seeing how the relationships between these characters will develop and evolve. I'm daydreaming of reading these on a beach somewhere (not sure my toddler and soon-to-arrive infant will be amiable to that though!).

Write & Edit: Do Editors Who Write Need an Editor?

Wed, 12 Apr 2023 15:16:50 GMT

1000 times YES!

I have been reading so much lately (shout out to four lovely authors who have sent me some great stories), that I haven't been writing. But this is a question I have been thinking about for weeks, because it is something I think is important to discuss on a blog like this one. Do editors who write need editors? Or think of it this way: do writers who edit need editors?

YES. A very emphatic yes. Sometimes it seems that those who write - and especially those who write well - think they do not need editors because they are good editors themselves. It may be true that they do not need deep dive edits. It may be true that they can catch most mistakes. But no writer is a perfect writer. I'll reiterate that: NO writer is a perfect writer. Even Virginia Woolf had Leonard. I bet there are mistakes here and there in my blogs, despite how many times I read them before posting. Everyone who writes needs at least one extra pair of trustworthy and critical eyes to examine their work if they want it to be the best it can be.

This is true for several key reasons. First and foremost, as a writer you are intimately familiar with your own work. You have usually read it so many times that you are blind to the small mistakes: the missing words, the typos, etc. You are so familiar with the work that your eyes really can't see the mistakes anymore; your mind fills in the blanks automatically. You know exactly what is it supposed to say. Only a new pair of eyes can find it all (and let's be real, sometimes one extra pair of eyes isn't enough either...there are all kinds of editors: developmental, copy, content, beta...some of us need a few of these). I have edited my own work countless times over many months, and still, a new reader will find a missing quotation mark or an off word.

Second, you know the story extraordinarily well (you should anyway) including the back story. If you are like me, this is something you have thought about for years. You know where your characters come from and all their assorted baggage (every good character has baggage). You know the context of your world and how your characters relate to it. You know how magic works or doesn't work. Your reader, however, does not have the same information. They can let you know if you are leaving out important back story or necessary world building. I had several readers tell me that a magical component to my book didn't make sense: aha, something I did not even think of and completely glossed over.

Why would your character be so reticent to enter into this relationship? Oh, well it turns out they were in a toxic relationship for years. Maybe that is something your reader needs to know. Alternatively, perhaps you are giving away too much information. Maybe your reader didn't really need that scene about your main character picking up dog poop and gagging because they have a strong sense of smell...that never circles back around to being relevant. These are issues you may be blind to, especially if you have an author's natural attachment to a story. Many of us consider our books our babies in a way; you put a ton of time and energy into writing a book. A TON. Authors deserve a major shout out for the work they put into crafting a story. Cutting several irrelevant chapters is hard to do until someone tells you it needs to be done (and even then it can be painful!). Editors and beta readers are extraordinarily good at telling you what can go and what needs to be developed further. This is key to building and maintaining a good story.

Finally, even if your work is seemingly perfect, don't you want someone to read it? Every good writer I have ever encountered has experienced self-doubt. Some really excellent writers experience self-doubt to a crippling extent. I have always been impressed with my husband's writing. His first draft reads like a final draft in my opinion. He is a slow, meticulous writer. He takes his time to articulate everything perfectly. And guess what? He still needs a first, critical reader. He needs someone to tell him it's good and to keep going.

Let someone read it. Let them find your little mistakes that your eyes cannot see anymore. Let them tell you what works and what doesn't. That support really helps make your writing the best that it can be.

Alright, I have some reading and writing to do, and I bet you do too, so consider this gentle encouragement: it will not get written unless you write it! Get going!

I'll also admit to being in a bit of a brain fog...we have been engaged in a lot of family activities over the last few weeks , and my toddler and I both need a solid brain break. Baby will be here relatively soon (end of May). Oh, which means I DEFINITELY have some reading and writing to do!

Read & Review: London Season by Maude Winters

Mon, 20 Mar 2023 23:57:07 GMT

Book 1 of the Regency & Rivalry Series

I read a bit in every genre. Sometimes it is dense, heavy science fiction and sometimes it is more escapist and something I can get through quickly. My husband suggested I read Shadow and Claw by Gene Wolfe (part of his Book of the New Sun series) and it is an incredible read...that will take me a loooong time to finish. At night while snuggling with a toddler, I find I need something easier on my brain. I recently discovered the newly published author Maude Winters. She just published the first two of her five book Regency and Rivalry series. It falls firmly in the romance genre, so be ready for lots of love and great character chemistry.

This book is certainly escapist, but I would not call it fluff. It lands somewhere between Jane Austen and modern romance. It is a bit of a slow burn, as in it takes a little time to sort out the characters, their histories, and their relationships to each other. The first 25% of the book is what felt particularly Jane Austen to me, as the relationships of the characters unfold and the drama builds. I appreciate the slow burn; Winters does not information dump. She allows you to learn about her characters (and their assorted baggage) a little at a time. In fact, that is one of my favorite aspects of this book.

For example, you know from the start that Vanora has a past she is struggling to cope with: the very untimely death of a lover. However, it is not until the end of the book that you come to discover the true reality of what that was like for her. By that time you are so invested in Vanora as a character that learning what she went through is truly gut-wrenching. It really hit me. I expected to enjoy the romance and sexy aspects of the book (and I certainly did), but I did not expect to be brought to tears (and on multiple occasions). By the end of London Season I was not only interested in the next book - because oh yes, I definitely need more Vanora and Robbie in my reading life! - but I am curious about the prospect of a potential prequel as well. I can see that being a magical love story between Vanora and Nate...even if it ends so sadly.

In London Season , Vanora comes to London to spend the summer with her best friend, Mairead/Rita, before Rita's wedding. Vanora is her maid of honor. Though born in Wales, Vanora has spent most of her life in America: she is a Kentucky horse girl at heart. Even so, she almost immediately becomes the talk of the town...and it is really something to become the talk of a town like London. She blossoms in this setting, coming out of hiding in a way, since the death of her lover a few years prior. High society takes to her - from the princes and princess to their extended family - as does the public. It is exciting to see this from Vanora's side; she is certainly richer than most of us, but she starts off a fairly normal, anonymous, horse girl. By the end of the book, she is deeply enmeshed in the royal family. That must be an incredibly intense experience, and only a character like Vanora, who is very good at keeping a level head while also following her heart, could take it with such grace.

I am not someone who follows the royal family (except what I happen to catch on the morning national news shows). In fact, I will admit that I generally roll my eyes at royals and and the rich. However, I really enjoyed reading about a fictionalized royal family. I also enjoyed how likable the main characters were, even when punching each other in the nose. I liked the balanced personality of the queen - her ability to roll her eyes at her sons while also always being a traditional and proper queen. Her husband is so down to earth and real that he hardly seems like someone married to the Queen of England. Even though the characters are extremely rich and in the highest echelons of society, they are still relatable. They fall in love, curse, fight, and struggle (I love that they curse!). This is particularly true later in the book, as brothers fight, a key family member gets a terrifying medical diagnosis, and the main characters are forced to decide if their relationship can even work.

The book sets itself and its characters up very well for the continuation of the series while also wrapping up nicely. I could have waited to start Book 2...but I was too eager. I am actually a bit late posting this review because I have been too busy reading The Queen's Conundrum, the second in the five book series. I could not help but dive right in! And the great news is...Winters is releasing the books quickly, so you will not have to wait years to get more of this royal and richly written crew.

I have tried not to provide any major spoilers here...but I hope this enough for those of you who read romance or need something light and refreshing for your spring reading to decide to dive into Winters' series. It is an affordable buy on Kindle (I actually got it for free with my digital points), but you can also get it in hardcopy. Oh, and Winters' has a website and blog too...check it out here .

My goal with any read and review posts is to increase the awareness of new, up and coming authors. If I did not enjoy the book, I won't burn it here; I will only review books I got some enjoyment out of. So, if you or someone you know just wrote a book and would like it to be reviewed here, let me know!

Think: Is Nonfiction...Boring?

Mon, 13 Mar 2023 14:52:52 GMT

Touching on the need for readable nonfiction

Is nonfiction boring? Well, let's be real: some of it is. I would bet that many people have been turned off to nonfiction after reading one too many boring history texts in school. This is something I have thought about a lot as a scholar, anthropologist, and professional in historic preservation. Why do people shun history as boring and unimportant? Nonfiction is not inherently boring...after all, nonfiction is also about telling a compelling story, just like fiction. However, these stories need to be vetted and researched. They need to come from reliable sources. Sometimes, this can make nonfiction something of a slog to get through.

I have always been a history buff. I had a few free periods during my senior year of high school, and I filled them up with history classes. Three of my seven classes were history. In college I elected to take a history of Western medicine class over creative writing, and it was one of the best classes I have ever taken. I minored in art history. Some of my favorite memories growing up involve visiting museums around Richmond with my dad; Richmond is rich with history, especially when it comes to the American Civil War. I went to graduate school for anthropology. I was totally fascinated with the world of ethnography and cultural studies. Then I worked for years in historic preservation reading and commenting on historic documentation, particularly as it relates to architecture. I found all of that "nonfiction" - the truth of humanity, real human stories - fascinating and significant.

In terms of my personal reading habits, I always try to read two books at once: fiction and nonfiction. However, I have a dark secret. I have an academic and professional background in fields of nonfiction and the study of humanity and culture. But in my free time...I really struggle to read history. I cannot remember the last time I actually read a history book, or an anthropology book, all the way through.

I devour fiction. And I can read nonfiction books related to my current life experiences without many hiccups...as in, I can finish them. The last nonfiction book I read was The Second Baby Book by Sarah Ockwell-Smith, and I really loved Like a Mother: A Feminist Journey Through the Science and Culture of Pregnancy by Angela Garbes.

I was looking at my bookshelves the other day considering the history and anthropology books scattered throughout the collection. I have read very few of them completely. Several weeks ago I came home from the thrift store - I get many of our books from thrift stores and used bookstores - with a huge book on President Truman by David McCullough. I have a soft spot for Truman after living in Missouri, but this book is HUGE - over 1000 pages. My husband saw it and said, "Who is going to read that?!" He loves big books and reading, but even he was not going anywhere near that one. In that moment I realized there was no way I was going to read it either! I said, "My dad will."

My dad did. I have always been impressed with his ability to soak up and digest books of all kinds but especially history. He read that whole book, sharing the interesting bits with me. I could never have finished reading a biography with that level of detail.

You know what else? I have found some of the most famous anthropological works incredibly dull. As much as I love and respect Margaret Mead, I could not finish Coming of Age in Samoa . Some of my favorite anthropological works were not written by anthropologists...they were written by journalists. There. I said it. It hurts me to say it, but sometimes the truth hurts.

The thing is...many published journalists can write ! I mean really write. Not only is their work usually written well, but it is written in a way that is not overly wordy and knows how to really engage the reader. They may not be anthropologically trained, but sometimes I think that works to their advantage...they are more inclined to put their thoughts and feelings into their works, and that is usually quite a bit more engaging and interesting.

One perfect example is The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot. If you have not read it, you absolutely need to. Skloot has training in journalism and creative nonfiction, and it really shows in that book. I was completely enraptured, fascinated and at times horrified. Even if you have not heard the name Henrietta Lacks, you or someone you love has been directly impacted by her and her cells. Does that sound crazy? It is! And it's all true!

Another is The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down by Anne Fadiman. That book is an incredible culture study and so relevant to the field of anthropology. In fact, I read it in multiple anthropology courses in undergrad and graduate school. This book catches you and does not put you down. It is one of the few nonfiction, anthropological books I have readily read more than one time. And Fadiman is not an anthropologist...she is a reporter!

The Moral Animal by Robert Wright is another nonfiction book I have read more than once. It was also assigned in anthropology classes, and it was even in a list of books recommended for study in order to pass our Master's exam in anthropology. Any guesses what Wright does for a living? Yeah, I think you get the idea: he's a journalist.

Please do not get me wrong here. There certainly are historians, anthropologists, and scientists who can write and engage their reader. However, they are a lot more difficult to name. These fields do train you to write, but they typically train you to write in a particular way: an academic way, following certain rules, and not in a way that really speaks to most readers. This is my experience anyway. I have studied anthropology for so long that I have certainly found some excellent writing by anthropologists, such as The Forest People by Colin Turnbull, In Search of Respect: Selling Crack in El Barrio by Phillippe Bourgeois, and Mama Lola: A Vodou Priestess in Brooklyn by Karen McCarthy Brown. Generally speaking however, there are not many I would recommend to those who are not anthropologists...I am afraid they would find most anthropological texts boring or even unreadable.

My favorite historian is easily Roy Porter. I have read Blood and Guts: A Short History of Medicine and The Greatest Benefit to Mankind: A Medical History of Humanity , but he has written many more. I want to acknowledge that I know there are great books out there in these fields...they just are not always easy to find.

But I have also been thinking about this a lot. There is a need for scholars and professionals in their fields to write about their expertise in a way that is digestible to the masses. I think this is extraordinarily important, especially in a day and age where misinformation (and completely made up information) abounds.

I am determined to read more history...and finish it. And I want to read more history written by historians and anthropology written by anthropologists. They train for years in their field, spending hours upon hours reading and researching. They are also trained in the ethics of their studies; this is very important.

I would definitely like to know what other readers, writers and scholars think. Further, if you can think of some specific books I need to read - especially in history - I want to hear about it!

Edit: Three of my Most Common Editing Suggestions

Sat, 04 Mar 2023 13:09:29 GMT

My thoughts on reading aloud, passive voice, and contractions

It is time for a post focused on the often cumbersome task of editing. I decided a few weeks ago that my first editing post would focus on three of my most frequently doled out editing recommendations. I have edited and commented on all types of writing, from the densely academic to just-for-fun fiction and everything in between. There are three things I find myself suggesting to almost every single writer across all genres and projects.

1) Read your work aloud. I know it is an obnoxious piece of advice to receive. I know, because I was on the receiving end of it years ago, and I rolled my eyes when professors kept suggesting it. Most of us feel a little silly when we sit alone in a room and read our work aloud (you are an especially brave soul if you can read your work aloud in a coffee shop, though I have managed to master mumbling my work aloud while my toddler sleeps). But let me tell you: it works .

Reading aloud can shift the way your brain looks at the words, and you often notice things you did not notice before (especially that typo or off word in a paragraph you read silently 50 times before and thought for sure was just perfect). It also allows to you hear what the writing may sound like in the mind of your reader. It is extraordinarily useful for recognizing clunky wording and clumsy dialogue.

I recommend reading aloud when you have gotten to the point where you just do not want to look at it anymore. It gives you a fresh perspective (so does changing the font style or size, if you want to try that method too). If you read it aloud and still think it sounds great...then it is time to hit the send button and get it out to some readers! Reading aloud is always my last step before putting my written work out into the world, and I never regret it.

2) Avoid the passive voice. If you have been writing long enough you have probably heard this one. You probably heard it in high school English classes. Maybe it always seems too technical to think about: Is this passive? Who is taking the action here? What's my subject and my verb and their relationship to each other? In all likelihood you just want to write and not think too hard about the technical aspects of subject and verb actions. So let me phrase this a different way. Make your writing exciting. Give your characters the power and make sure they are taking action.

Instead of: The bone was tossed to the dog by the toddler.

Try: The toddler tossed the bone to the dog.

Notice there are fewer words in the second sentence (which is almost always a good thing in almost all writing). Here is a sentence that is, in my opinion, even stronger:

The toddler tosses the bone to the dog.

One of my best and most critical readers (shout out here to the discerning eye of my husband, who reads dense philosophy in his free time) told me, after reading a very early draft of my novel, that he would rather it be in present tense. You remember the eye roll with the suggestion to read aloud? My reaction to this suggestion was more of a whole body shudder of horror. You want me to change my whole novel - written in past tense - to present? Are you kidding me?!

But he was right. So right. I started the shift when I started writing Part III, and I realized it sounded so much better. There was more urgency and intensity. The writing was clearer, more condensed and easier to follow. I no longer had to fight with rewording sentences to avoid word redundancies (such as "he had had a bad time"...oh man that is bad).

Past tense is perfectly okay; I am not trying to say it isn't. Some of the best writing and most famous literature out there is in past tense. But there is something to be said for the simplicity of the present tense and the intensity it can give to your action, especially in fiction.

3) Use contractions minimally. This one is probably a bias of mine from years of academic writing, where the use of contractions and any informality in writing was firmly drilled out of me. I have gotten a little looser in recent years. I acknowledge that it often feels more natural to write "can't" than "cannot", "isn't" than "is not". However, I still find that too many contractions, even in fictional work, reads as a little too informal to me. Sometimes a contraction just fits better, but if there are multiple contractions on a page, my "red pen" usually starts slashing them.

An exception to this is in dialogue or first person writing that is meant to be expressed in a particular way. There absolutely should be contractions in dialogue, maybe even a lot of them, as contractions are common in speech and even more common in certain dialects (sometimes "ain't" is needed and appropriate: use it!). This is another reason I think contractions should only be used minimally elsewhere in your work; it differentiates your narrator from the characters in the book. If your narrator is a character (first person) and has a particular way of speaking, then I can make more room for contractions. Just make sure they fit with how your character speaks and are not just an easy way to write and think.

Generally speaking, I remove all contractions from academic and nonfiction writing, and I recommend you do too. It makes your work seem a lot more professional and less personal...it also makes it feel more omniscient and authoritative.

For those of you still reading, what do you think? Do you agree or disagree with these points? They are not hard and fast rules...just some of the most common pieces of advice I give (and have been given). I am very curious what other writers, readers and editors might think. Feel free to agree or disagree in the comments!

I highly anticipate getting much busier in the next few weeks with business related work (woohoo!), but I always have more blog posts planned. Stay tuned for a "thinking" themed post on nonfiction/historical writing, a "writing" post discussing why even writers who edit need editors, and a "reading" review on an up and coming new writer...that one you absolutely will not want to miss!

Read: Authors R. L. Stine, Nnedi Okorafor and Edgar Allen Poe

Wed, 22 Feb 2023 16:13:15 GMT

Stine and Okorafor Speak at the Poe Museum's Centennial Celebration

What do R. L. Stine and Nnedi Okorafor have in common? On the surface, not a whole lot. Stine is a 79 year old white male best known for his horror series for children and young adults. Most of us have heard of Goosebumps , which boomed in the 1990s, and many of his original Goosebumps readers (primarily Millennials) transitioned to reading the Fear Street series as teenagers. He is extremely prolific, having written literally hundreds of books. I devoured his work as a 1990s kid, and he remains a popular horror author for children. Here is something you may not know about Stine: he is hilarious . In fact, he started his writing career writing joke books for kids. Someone suggested he write a horror novel instead. He did, and it became a bestseller. So he wrote another. That one became a bestseller too. So he said forget comedy (his words). The rest is history.

You may not have heard of Okorafor directly, but you are almost certainly familiar with her work: she authored the Black Panther comics. That is far from all, however. She has written multiple comics, novels (including series), and screenplays. Born in America to Nigerian parents, she is 48. She classifies her work as African futurism and African jujuism. Her work is a beautiful mix of fantasy, science fiction, and African culture. Her book Who Fears Death is slated to become an HBO series. That is the work I chose to read before hearing her speak. Who Fears Death is an excellent blend of fantastical elements and real social issues. I highly recommend it.

So what do these two authors have in common? They have very different life experiences, are of different generations, and write in different genres. They have some different views on the meaning of writing. However, t hey have both written fiction for young adults and had their works adapted for film and television. They are cultural icons. They also offer some similar advice for writers. One piece I have heard from every author I have ever heard speak: you have to read prolifically in order to write. They also agreed that writing is their lifeblood; they are not sure what they would do if they were not writers.

Okorafor and Stine were both selected to speak at the centennial celebration for Richmond's Poe Museum. Despite admitting that Poe did not have much of an influence on them directly (neither spoke extensively on Poe, mostly focusing on their own works and writing experience), they both acknowledged Poe's influence on American literature. Okorafor noted that "Poe looms large." Stine remembered reading Poe's works in horror anthologies he was drawn to as a kid.

Poe's influence on American literature and culture more broadly is undeniable. Many of you have probably watched the new Netflix show Wednesday. ..Poe is an important historic figure in that show. Poe lived with adoptive parents in Richmond, spending his formative years here. I highly recommend a visit to the Poe Museum if you find yourself in the Richmond area. It is a quaint little space and always changing. You will be surprised at the kinds of things you will learn. Did you know that Poe also wrote science fiction? That he was remarkably unsuccessful in college? He went into gambling debt while at the University of Virginia. His adoptive father wanted him to take over the family tobacco business (a classic Virginia industry) but ultimately ended up cutting Poe off financially. Poe's path lie elsewhere. His life is a "follow your dreams" story. Can you imagine American literature without "The Raven" or the "Pit and the Pendulum" or the "Tell-Tale Heart"? Even authors like Stine and Okorafor, who admit to not having been greatly influenced by Poe directly, are familiar with and impacted by his work. The authors that influenced them, for example, were almost certainly influenced by the work of Poe. Poe was a pioneer in the genres Stine and Okorafor are famous for.

We are long past the opportunity to hear horror master and great American poet Edgar Allen Poe speak, but I have always loved hearing writers talk at events, especially if I have read their work. You get to see the incredible duality of the author. When you read them, they are an often ambiguous Creator. When you hear them speak, you see them as a person. You begin to understand what influences and what drives them. It provides a completely new kind of depth the next time you pick up one of their works.

I could write much more about these three authors. I am drawn to each of them for different reasons: Poe for his darkness turned to success, Stine for his influence on my childhood, and Okorafor for her meaningful approach to the sci fi/fantasy genre. For the sake of time and brevity, I want to close with a discussion of the meaning of a writer's work. During the discussion portion of the event, Okorafor and Stine were asked, "How do you make a story both meaningful and entertaining?"

I know enough of Poe to know that he did this by writing from his own trauma and pain. I imagine that many of his stories came from a need to purge some of the darkness in his own mind. Readers do find that darkness entertaining...but we all also find it meaningful, because we have all experienced darkness in our ways. That madness and pain is fascinating but also frighteningly relatable. Aren't most modern peoples a little mad?

Okorafor said that she did not necessarily approach writing a story with the idea of making it meaningful. However, she said that meaning comes from within. When she writes a story, something about it compels her to put it on the page (I interpret this, again, as a need to purge). Her works do address social issues and generational trauma, including violence and genocide, female genital mutilation, and prescribed gender roles. I find her work meaningful because it addresses these social issues and speaks to lived experiences, even when the main characters are powerful sorcerers. Her stories are powerful and empowering in more than one way.

Stine's answer to this question was interesting. He said that his stories aren't meaningful. He says he writes simple to entertain. He writes for fun and enjoyment and does not think about social issue or meaning as he does so. I, however, do not think he gives himself enough credit. There absolutely is meaning in his work: his novels have influenced generations of children. In some cases, he inspired children to read. In others, he inspired children to write. He himself noted receiving letters and comments from people telling him that his books helped them get through traumatic life events and difficult childhoods. There is certainly meaning in that. There is meaning in the ability to entertain and to inspire. There is meaning in being able to pull your reader into a story and have them become invested in it. If nothing else it builds imagination, and that is am important trait for children and adults alike to obtain and maintain.

I highly recommend reading each of these authors...I reread Goosebumps #1 Welcome to Dead House after hearing Stine speak and still thoroughly enjoyed it. I loved Okorafor's adult themes and mystical elements. And Poe...well Poe is Poe. You won't regret diving into his works either.

If you have questions about this event, the Poe Museum, or any of these authors, please feel free to drop a note below! I would love to hear from you.

Interlude: My Insides Exploded

Tue, 14 Feb 2023 16:08:28 GMT

My appendix ruptured...at 23 weeks pregnant

I excitedly launched my business Friday, January 20, fully anticipating spending at least a few hours a day working on networking, writing, and blogging. On Monday, January 23, I had very stressful day, but my husband and I still made it that night to see R.L. Stine and Nnedi Okorafor speak in downtown Richmond. Writing about that event was meant to be my next blog post.

The powers of the universe, for several years, have really enjoyed making sure I know better than to rely too heavily on "plans" (I am sure this is true for many of us). Around lunch time on Tuesday I started having bad stomach pains, and I couldn't hold down any food. This happened three times over the last year but never while I was pregnant. Typically, the pain would be severe for a day or two and then gradually dissipate. I have always had a problematic stomach, so I just figured this was a new gastrointestinal issue. I did not know what triggered it, though I supposed stress could do it. I was completely down on Tuesday, but Wednesday and Thursday I managed to function somewhat. I did laundry, ate a little, and even took a neighbor for cataract surgery. By Thursday night I was weary of the pain, but still assumed I would be better in a few days.

Friday morning, still hurting, I refused bacon at breakfast. Rowan, my two-year-old, said it was because my tummy hurt and that I should go to the doctor. Someone asked him if he wanted to go to the doctor, and he said, "No, me scared!" After breakfast I had an important call that went well. Then an hour later, I was completely struck down with debilitating pain. I do not know what being stabbed in the gut with two butcher knives actually feels like, but if I had to guess, I'd imagine it felt something like what I was feeling.

I have always avoided going to the hospital at all costs. I have only ever been once before in my life and that was only for a few hours (and after an urgent care turned me away). But I knew in that moment that one of us - me or my baby - was dying. I told my mom to call my husband's work and asked my step-dad for a ride to the hospital. Every bump in the road hurt. I stood in line at the ER check-in trembling and breathing heavily. The woman in front of me was asking where she could take some clothes. There were no wheelchairs or seats available. I did not know how I would be able to stand a long wait, but as soon as I told them I was 23 weeks pregnant and in severe abdominal pain, they kicked someone out of a wheelchair and rushed me to Labor and Delivery.

I was in the hospital for almost a week: from Friday morning to Thursday afternoon. For the last few weeks I have thought a lot about how much and what to post here. As a writer, when big events happen in my life I usually have to write them down in some capacity. It helps me process what happened and remember it more clearly down the road. This was quite the experience, and I could write a great deal about it. It took twelve hours, an ultrasound, and an MRI for them to figure out what was wrong with me. It took a day and a half for them to take my appendix out. It was the weekend, I am pregnant, and they wanted a certain doctor to do the surgery. I felt my care was good overall, but I do think a day and a half is too long to sit with a ruptured appendix. I ended up with a large internal abscess. My appendix was described, in my medical report, as "disrupted, torn and tattered" with "a somewhat necrotic dusky mucosa." Other notes say that I had gangrene. I was extremely dehydrated (I had no idea), and my potassium was so low I was on potassium the entire week. My insides were in bad, bad shape. The pain was truly excruciating. I would give unmedicated childbirth five more times rather than experience that pain again. I am NOT kidding.

After my surgery I spent another five days in the hospital due to ileus (my intestines not functioning or contracting like they are supposed to). I had a drainage tube for nine days due to my abscess. There is a lot to be said about long hospital nights. My back was wrecked trying to get comfortable (I'll reiterate here: I'm also PREGNANT). I had five IVs and over a dozen needle pricks. The discomfort of the IVs added insult to injury. I was limited in the pain medicine I could take or stomach. I felt when my intestines started up; there was a new rolling pain as they started working again.

Over the last few days I have started to feel more like myself (if pretty pregnant). The ache where my appendix once was has finally subsided, and the cuts in my abdomen are healing well. I am still not supposed to lift more than 20 pounds in case of a hernia (my surgeon said hernias are "no big deal, just another surgery" which is a really easy thing for a surgeon, who will never be pregnant, to say). I am weak and out of shape. I have a new understanding of my body and its strength, but perhaps even more importantly, I have a special understanding of the strength of my baby. I was told, when they discovered my appendix issue, that the chance of fetal loss was 5%. However, that was assuming uncomplicated appendicitis. With the added complications of rupture, abscess, gangrene, and a few days of sitting with that, the chance of fetal loss was actually as high as 36%. Just a few weeks before all of this happened, I told my husband that this baby is an especially strong one. He asked why I thought so. I told him I just knew; there is a special strength to him. I am even more confident in the truth of that now. He was generally unfazed by the whole affair, reassuring me with steady heartbeats and kicks to my sore insides. This experience made me feel more connected to him. This little babe was there with me throughout this whole long, complicated process, including surgery and sedation.

Truthfully, I learned a lot over the last few weeks, and that is really what I wanted to share here. I have never experienced anything like this before. Hospital stays are foreign to me: I gave birth to Rowan in a birth center - a lovely home with a large bathtub and gentle lighting - with midwives. I have experienced unmedicated childbirth and plenty of discomfort in my life, but never the kind of pain I felt when my appendix ruptured...and then sat there inside of me, leaking fluid and rotting. I came to understand how I deal with pain in a new way. I am not a moaner or extremely vocal complainer (I heard some of those while admitted), but I cannot do much when in that level of pain. I have always told myself to take a book everywhere I go. You never know when there will be an emergency, and if you end up in the hospital you will have a lot of down time. Yes, I thought about that before! Even that Friday, when I knew something in me was dying, I grabbed a book and shoved it in my bag. Books have always been my escape from the pain of reality. However, I was unable to read the entire time I was in the hospital. The first few days I could not even focus on the TV. All I could do was lay in my hospital bed, willing the pain to subside and watching the clock. A day or so after my surgery I could kind of watch TV, but I was still uncomfortable and in pain (7/10 rather than a 10/10). I was not resting well between interruptions and an inability to get comfortable in my hospital bed. I just could not focus on the written word at all. It wasn't until I came home and was able to sleep a little better, that I could escape into a good book.

I learned what a person in severe pain does and does not need to hear. I know many of us do not always know what to say to someone who is suffering in a way we have never experienced. I am sure I have struggled with that in the past. I found that people saying things like "wait and see" or "it'll pass" or "just take it easy" did not help me. It felt borderline dismissive and minimizing. All I could do was wait, and I knew that. My care was completely out of my control. My body has told me to take it easy; there is only so much I can do. And the fact that the pain will not last forever does not help. In that moment the pain is almost all there is. The statements that really helped me were those that acknowledged and validated my pain, such as "I'm so sorry, I have heard that is so painful" or "That sounds horrible!" or even "OMG that sucks!!!" Those statements make you and your agony feel seen. My surgeon seemed so nonchalant before my surgery, and I could not understand why it took them so long to get that painful little bugger out of me. The next day however, he acknowledged: "You were in bad shape." I needed to hear that, because boy did I FEEL that.

When something like this happens, you also discover who shows up for you and how. My parents helped considerably with looking after Rowan; we had never been apart from each other for so long, and it was difficult for both of us. Rowan even spent a few nights sleeping with my mom. People sent flowers, a fruit bouquet, and a teddy bear. My sister brought me my favorite meal after I got home (Vietnamese vermicelli with spring rolls, if you are curious) and spent a day helping around the house. My dad and step-mom visited me in the hospital. My dad even cancelled plans with friends one day to come sit with me, because he couldn't go hang out and have fun with me laid up in a hospital bed. My sister-in-law also visited. Some people called and texted regularly to see how I was doing. Another friend brought me a card and a gift card for food. All of that support really meant a lot. When suffering in that way and stuck in the hospital, you do feel very isolated. Little gifts and hellos went a long way in brightening my days and distracting me from my predicament.

My husband, Dominic, stepped up in a special way. He took over so many of my duties at home even after I was home, including cosleeping with Rowan (which is very difficult for him to do, as such a light sleeper). He used up vacation time and spent hours upon hours with me in the hospital. On some days I told him to take Rowan to the park or to my dad's, and he did all of that readily. He took great care of me too. He brought me food when I asked for it, helped me shower, helped me change the bandages around my drain, and took me to the doctor when I didn't feel comfortable driving yet. He did it all without a single complaint. He was exactly the reliable steady presence I needed. He was there before my surgery and right after. He waited with me for all my tests and witnessed my frustration with things like poorly inserted IVs and bad hospital food. He never questioned my experience, feelings, or requests. I am so thankful to have him, and this experience only solidified what I have known for 15 years: I have a better life partner than I could have ever asked for. Thank goodness for that too...soon we will have a toddler AND an infant...that will take all the teamwork we can muster!

If you have read this far, thank you for sticking with me. My next post will be more in line with what I originally intended. It will focus on the R.L. Stine and Nnedi Okorafor event. I just could not go off the web and without a post for so long without this discussion. Consider it one of my "thinking" themed posts.

If you have questions or topic suggestions, I am open to those too. Thank you for reading!

Introducing W.R.E.a.T.

amberkcox@live.com (Amber Cox) — Fri, 20 Jan 2023 20:44:36 GMT

Write, Read, Edit and Think

I have been toying with the idea of starting a blog for some time, and my business website seems to demand such a thing: if I were looking for a quality editor, I would want to know something about them, including the way they themselves write. In my opinion, the best editors are also writers, because the best writers are always trying to improve their own craft. How do you become a successful writer? You keep writing, reading, and editing. This goes on always and forever for writers (you know who still reads prolifically? Stephen King, for one, and he is one of the most successful modern American writers). Reading is a part of a writer's job, and I believe writing is also part of an editor's job.

So what is W.R.E.a.T.? These will be the themes of my blog, in rotation: writing, reading, editing, and thinking. Today I will focus on writing, my longest and most intense passion. I will introduce my connection to writing and a few of my projects. The next time I post about writing, I will share some of those works.

I started writing short stories when I was around 9 years old. They were quirky mystery stories, with female Sherlock Holmes characters acting like Han Solo, rescuing kidnapped ballerinas from nonsensical and purposeless villains. I have written short stories in a variety of genres since. Most of my short stories are what I call "purges." Something happened in my life or came to me on a walk, and I had to get it out somehow. I do not have a great liking for or attachment to most of those stories, but I have a few favorites, which I am likely to post here eventually.

I wrote my first two "novels" in middle school. One was handwritten in a journal with Star Wars characters on the cover. It was a science fiction novel about a female bounty hunter. I called it The Bounty Hunter Charade . No one has ever read it (as no one ever should), but yes, I still have that journal. The other was historical fiction about witches titled Jealousy . One of my best friends, Anna, and her mother read it and claimed that it was decent. That was typed on an old desktop computer, and I am sure I have it somewhere as well.

My third larger work was an autobiography I wrote in high school (cringe!!!). It was actually decently written, all things considered, as it came directly from the heart. Works that come from the heart are almost always stronger than works that come from the mind. However, it was deeply personal, and if I were a sensible person, I would have it burned. Not long after we started dating my now husband found it. He laughed to the point of tears (he personally knew one of the people I wrote about - a crush - and found it incredibly amusing). It's a miracle I did not burn it then.

My next big writing project occurred in the few years between college graduation and graduate school. It was an emotional fictional work about three young women trying to sort out their place in the world. In reality, all three of those women were facets of myself. It was a novel length work that never reached completion. I called it Fire, Smoke, and Ash .

I pray that those first long works never see the light of day, but my favorite piece has been in the works since 2016, and you will see snippets of it here as I continue editing it and seek publication. That was a crazy year: I dropped out of my PhD program in anthropology, started working full time in historic preservation, and finally began writing the novel I had been thinking about for several years before.

Torsetu: Arrival is the first in a trilogy. I am currently working on the third draft. When I say that I love it, I am not exaggerating. As a writer, I believe you know you are on to something good when you enjoy your own story, when you can't stop reading and rereading it, when it resides in both your heart and your mind. I have also heard that you should write the book you wish to read, and Torsetu: Arrival is definitely the book I have always wanted to read. I am so excited to share more about it!

I have also written nonfiction extensively in both academic and professional settings. Some of that writing will be shared here as well. I have also written several wedding speeches; the photograph above was taken as I gave a maid of honor speech at a best friend's wedding last year. My goal was to move her to tears if at all possible, and I think I succeeded (the groom actually said I almost got him as well, which would have been a real win-win).

I will feature bits of all of my writing here on my "writing" weeks. For now, stay tuned for next week's reading theme, where I discuss two prominent authors who are speaking in Richmond, VA on Monday: R.L. Stine and Nnedi Okorafor!!!